Does negative thinking turn people off? Negative thinking is the basis of all human diseases. Social cognition and loneliness

The habit of negative thinking is the most destructive to health. Negative emotions and thoughts are not only malice, anger and hatred, but also fear, worries, worries, stress, despondency and other negative states. And although diseases do not appear immediately, sometimes even after years, you can get rid of them only by cleansing your energy structure.

Our emotional state and our health, environment, success or failure in life - everything is very interconnected. Our very life in this world depends precisely on the thoughts and emotions that come off the assembly line of our consciousness. And if all the people of the Earth knew this and applied it in their lives, one can imagine what kind of world you and I would already live in! But one person cannot change life on the entire planet, but he can change HIS life by replacing negative thinking with positive thinking!

What are our thoughts and emotions, and how are they related to our health? Every thought and emotion emitted into space is (vibration) energy of a certain frequency and density. For example, we can take the thought and emotion of anger and malice; in this case, a person produces and fills the structure of his subtle body with low and coarse energies, which pollute the chakras, cause blockages and traffic jams in the channels, which results in illness.
In Eastern medicine, such blockages are removed using acupuncture. It is believed that about 5,000 diseases can be cured with acupuncture, which is close to the truth, since contamination of the structure of the human subtle body leads to a huge number of diseases.

You can independently determine the contamination of the structures of your subtle body by the following signs - pain, lower temperature of some parts of the body, muscle spasms; when you feel the channels with your hand, you can feel cold stripes under the skin - all this indicates contamination of the channels. The pain we experience when pressing on the abdomen is also one of the signs of contamination of the abdominal energy distributor, cold hands are also a sign of contamination of the thoracic energy distributor.

The disease itself is already a sign of contamination of the structure of the subtle body, and in almost all cases recovery comes immediately with cleansing of negative energies - but not before, sometimes this requires patience. Only by fully realizing and understanding the harm of negative thinking to health can you avoid many diseases, and as a first step, you need to analyze what thoughts and emotions you experience during the day, remembering that this is energy that either gives health or pollutes the structure of the subtle body and leads to diseases.

Only with the help of self-discipline can you get rid of negative thinking by changing your attitude towards the world and negative situations, because your irritation, resentment or anger will still not change anything, and by changing the energies from negative to positive, you will not only maintain your health, but also be able to influence your health. the situation itself. This knowledge has long been known in the East (especially in India, the keeper of ancient secret knowledge), but, unfortunately, only recently became available to Westerners.

In contrast to negative states of consciousness, there are positive ones that provide positive energies. The properties of these energies are high and subtle, and they never pollute the energy system, but cleanse it of negativity. Higher-frequency and subtle energy is always stronger than low-frequency energy; when they interact, a slow cleansing of negative energies occurs. As an example, we can cite a case where a person fell ill with cancer four times, but each time he cured himself with laughter therapy, watching comedies and cartoons. This example clearly shows the health benefits of positive thinking. Man himself is essentially a Soul clothed in a bodily shell. The Soul and Spirit feed the body with energy, without which a person could not exist. The human soul is both an emitter and a receiver of energy, and it is always connected with God and the Universe. A person radiates his energies and receives rain of Love energy from God every second, without it he would not be able to live for several days.

It is important to understand that it is our spiritual essence that nourishes the structure of the subtle body, that is, the person himself, all organs and all cells, and a person’s physical health depends on this nutrition. Negative thinking not only leads to illness, but also alienates a person from God, from his Divine essence, and although it is easier to go down than to climb up, the only correct path is the spiritual development of one’s eternal essence - the Soul and Spirit.

When the vibrations of the Soul are raised to the level of Love, all illnesses will remain a thing of the past. In high states of consciousness, negative energy simply cannot appear, and, therefore, illnesses will be avoided. You can rise to the level of vibration of Love only by striving for Love, for example, for another person or God. The very desire for Love is a desire for God, and it does not go unnoticed. Prayer is one of the important and effective ways to increase the vibrations of the Soul. There are many examples of healing through prayer, although such healings sometimes take months and sometimes years. It is impossible to know the full complexity of all energy exchanges.

In ancient times they said: know yourself - and you will become like God. Know that you are not a servant of God, but a spiritual being, a child of God, and the meaning of your life is the development of consciousness, the evolution of the Soul. Understand that there is no death as such, there is only the eternal life of a person who comes into the next incarnation on Earth with the sole purpose of developing consciousness and accumulating experience, which is our treasure and integral heritage for centuries. Spending the time of your life on pleasing only the physical body is unworthy for the children of God, who are given the opportunity for eternal development and self-improvement to the level of God, because Jesus Christ also said: you are Gods!

Hello, friends! Finally, in our work we have come to the topic of “negative thinking”. The topic is certainly important for life and development, but at the same time very voluminous. In this article we will try to reveal the very essence and salt of the nature of negative thinking, which significantly spoils the lives of many millions of people.

Hundreds of books and thousands of articles on personal growth and psychology write about the benefits of positive thinking and the harm of negative thinking. You come to an appointment with a psychologist or psychotherapist, and they tell you “you have negative thinking...”, “you need to think positively, form positive thinking in yourself...”. But practically nowhere is the depth and essence of these concepts, or it would be more correct to say entire “esoteric phenomena,” revealed. And even more so, few places fully reveal how exactly to get rid of negative thinking and cultivate positive thinking.

What do you need to know about how our thinking works in general?

Our thinking is determined primarily by programs, attitudes and that were once written into it. And consciousness (head), intellect (conscious thinking) in many ways only uses those thoughts, desires, knowledge (experience) that the subconscious “adjusts” to it. This explains the nature of the so-called. obsessive thoughts, depression, phobias, which a person is not able to control only with the mind ().

B O The majority of all human beliefs are contained in the subconscious (spine chakras), where all our habits, reactions, emotions, fears, etc. live. Everything that works automatically, without the direct participation of our intellect and will.

Let's dig even deeper. Subconscious beliefs that determine our thinking are much older than we think. Most of the beliefs that control human thinking were formed not even in this life, but in our distant and not very distant past incarnations. It is precisely such beliefs that explain the character that for some reason manifests itself in a person during the period of formation of his personality. After all, the character, qualities, and preferences of a person are not always fully determined by their upbringing and environment in their current life. More than 50% of the character and the entire inner world are determined by a person’s past, the experience of his soul, which he brought with him into his current life.

As new parents often say in relation to their newborn children “just born and already with character...”. A child’s character manifests itself in the very first days, weeks, months of a new life, and it can be seen in the eyes, mood, behavior, and energy of the little person.

Naturally, each Soul born in a new body brings a special, unique experience, and not always positive, but also negative. In short, the experience of the soul, the beliefs of a person, are what a person believed in and lived by in his past lives. And the older the soul, the more different things (both good and bad) it brings with it from the past. The more different unexpected surprises such a person can hide within himself. And these surprises during life can appear completely unexpectedly: both as talents and abilities that suddenly reveal themselves, and as unexpectedly manifested phobias, fears, internal grievances, depression that surges without an external reason, and many others. etc.

Something needs to be done about all this, right!? In fact, our site is dedicated to working out all possible internal problems :)

Now let's move directly to the question of this article.

What is commonly called negative thinking?

How does negative thinking manifest itself in life? How to see it, identify that it is negative thinking?

It will be clear to a spiritual person if you tell him what he has. This means that he does not believe in “good” and believes more in “bad”. When a person mentally says to himself “I won’t succeed,” “I won’t be happy,” “I won’t be able to solve my problems,” etc.

The absence of faith in the “Good” in our Consciousness is the presence of faith in the “Bad”. Moreover, most often this negative “faith” has no objective basis, like most fears (“I’m afraid and that’s all…”). Everyone around a person tells him that he will succeed, that he can, but he doesn’t believe it and that’s all. You look at him, and there is melancholy and hopelessness in his eyes. Why is this happening? Because what works in him (in his subconscious) is strongly compacted negative thinking (negative beliefs) - disbelief, or “belief in the bad.”

Let's list how negative thinking manifests itself in a person:

• total lack of faith in yourself and your strengths (negative thinking directed at yourself)
• the inner conviction that no matter what you do, everything will still be bad in the end
• the belief that happiness and success are unattainable for you by birth, that you are doomed to suffering and failure (negative thinking aimed at a person’s fate)
• total distrust of people, life, everything that happens around: “they will still deceive you, cheat you, kill you, do something bad,” “everything will still be bad,” etc. (negative thinking that works in relation to the world around us and to people)
• when something good happens - distrust of what happened and the search for a catch, the expectation that if something good happened, then you need to expect a lot more trouble, nastiness and prepare for it with all your might :)
• Obsession with the bad, seeing in oneself and others only shortcomings, only the negative, inability to see, recognize, appreciate the “good” (victories, achievements, virtues) and, as a result, inability to enjoy it.
• the conviction that negative methods of influencing oneself and others, such as violence, deception, cunning, manipulation, appropriation of someone else’s and others, are the norm, this is the only thing that works, the only thing that is real! Belief that Evil is b O greater reality than what b O more force than Good!
• other manifestations

As I remember, in childhood, when my brothers and sisters and I were having fun and laughing loudly, my grandmother never tired of repeating - “Don’t laugh, otherwise you’ll cry...”. This is a direct manifestation of the so-called. negative thinking.

The essence of negative thinking

- this is when your faith in the power of Evil is stronger than your faith in the power of Good.

If you saw yourself in the above manifestations of negative thinking, it means that somewhere subconsciously, or maybe consciously, you believe in the power of evil more than in the power of Good. This means that the belief that evil, somewhere, for some reason, is stronger than good and will prevail in you lives and works. And this, in turn, means that your divine Soul in this matter, in this situation, is placed in a deliberately weak and losing position. Since you have chosen to believe in evil and not in good, this will oppress and destroy your Soul, which is light in nature, that is, Good.

Once again, if a person has negative thinking, that is, he believes that failure, loss, suffering, defeat will certainly await him, that everything will be bad, then he believes that Good cannot win, and Evil will definitely happen, and there is no escape from it. That. a person gives preference to faith in the power of Evil rather than in the power of Good.

How will this affect his life? It’s simple, wherever he has negative thinking (belief in the power of Evil) - he will attract negativity into his life and destiny, strengthen it, and not get rid of and protect himself from it. Negative thinking makes a person vulnerable to Evil and any negative influences! After all, everyone knows Christ’s truth “To each according to his Faith...”

- this is, in fact, an order to the Higher Powers, a request to the Universe to attract the Negative “I believe in bad things, I turn to the forces of Evil and ask for more suffering, troubles, negativity on my head and my destiny...”. That's how it works! So be sincere with yourself and watch what you believe in, because this determines what you unconsciously ask from the universe and will certainly receive from it!

What is faith in the power of Good? This is the belief that Good will definitely win in the end, that even my biggest and most terrible problem can be solved, that success will be achieved, that happiness is achievable and achievable just for me. This is the belief that there are no insurmountable troubles and obstacles, that your Soul (you yourself) can cope with any negativity and overcome any shortcomings, that you have enough potential for this, and if not, then God and

People who are inclined to think will probably have a question: what is primary and what is secondary? Does depressed mood cause negative thinking or does negative thinking cause depression?

Depressed mood causes negative thinking

Without a doubt, our mood leaves a certain imprint on our thinking. Feeling ourselves happy, we, as a rule, see and remember only good things. But as soon as our mood becomes gloomy, our thoughts begin to take a different path. Rose-colored glasses are hidden until better times, and black ones are brought to light. Now the gloomy mood brings up memories of unpleasant events (Bowe, 1987; Johnson & Magaro, 1987). Relationships with others seem to have deteriorated, self-image has deteriorated, hopes for the future have faded, and the actions of others are disgusting (Brown & Taylor, 1986; Mayer & Salovey, 1987). As depression worsens, memories and expectations become more and more painful; when the depression subsides, everything becomes brighter again (Barnett & Gotlib, 1988; Kuiper & Higgins, 1985). So, people suffering from depression at present, remember how their parents rejected and punished them, while people who suffered from depression in past, remember their parents as kindly as those who have never experienced depression (Lewinsohn & Rosenbaum, 1987).

Edward Hirt and his colleagues (1992), in a study of fans of the Indiana University basketball team, demonstrated how the bad mood caused by a loss can give rise to rather dark thoughts. They asked fans - both those who were depressed about their team's loss and those who were jubilant about their victory - to predict the results of the team's upcoming games and their own behavior. After a team's defeat, people became more gloomy about not only the team's future, but also their own future successes, such as playing darts, solving anagrams, and even in their personal lives. When things don't go the way we would like, it can seem like they will always go wrong.

A depressed mood also affects behavior. A closed, gloomy, dissatisfied person does not evoke joyful and warm feelings in those around him. Stephen Strack & James Coyne (1983) found that depressed people are close to the truth in thinking that others disapprove of their behavior. Their pessimism and low mood cause social rejection (Carver & others, 1994). Depressive behavior may also cause depression in response. College students who shared a room with someone suffering from depression also began to feel somewhat depressed (Burchill & Stiles, 1988; Joiner, 1994; Sanislow & others, 1989). People with depression are at increased risk of divorce, being fired from their jobs, or being shunned by others (Coyne & others, 1991; Gotlib & Lee, 1989; Sacco & Dunn, 1990). In this state, people may deliberately seek out people who speak unfavorably about them, thereby confirming and further reinforcing their low opinion of themselves (Swarm & others, 1991).

Negative thinking causes depressed mood

Many people feel depressed during times of severe stress, such as job loss, divorce, the breakup of a long-term relationship, or physical trauma—anytime when their sense of who they are and the meaning of their lives is disrupted (Hamilton & others, 1993). ; Kendler & others, 1993). Such sad ruminations may be adaptive: insights experienced during depressed inactivity may later give rise to better strategies for interacting with the world. But people who are prone to depression tend to respond to bleak events by focusing excessively on themselves and blaming themselves for everything (Pyszczynski & others, 1991; Wood & others, 1990a, 1990b). Their self-esteem fluctuates back and forth—up when supported and down when threatened (Butler & others, 1994).

Why do some people get depressed easily? the slightest stressed? Recent evidence suggests that a negative explanatory style contributes to depressive reactions. Colin Sacks & Daphne Bugental (1987) asked several young women to meet a previously unknown person who sometimes acted coldly and unfriendly, thereby creating a difficult environment for communication. In contrast to optimistic women, those who had a pessimistic explanatory style, who tended to attribute unpleasant events to stable, global and internal causes, responded to social failure with depression. Moreover, they later behaved more hostilely with the next person they met. Their negative thinking led to a negative response, which in turn led to negative behavior.

Studies of children, adolescents, and adults outside the laboratory confirm that those with a negative explanatory style are more likely to experience depression when they experience trouble (Alloy & Clements, 1992; Brown & Siegel, 1988; Nolen-Hoeksema & others, 1986 ). “The recipe for severe depression is pre-existing pessimism faced with failure,” notes Martin Seligman (1991, p. 78). Moreover, patients who emerge from a state of depression after a psychotherapy session, but do not give up their negative explanatory style, tend to return to the “original state” when unpleasant events occur again (Seligman, 1992). Those who habitually use an optimistic explanatory style tend to bounce back very quickly (Metalsky & others, 1993; Needles & Abramson, 1990).

Researcher Peter Lewinsohn (1985) and his colleagues boiled down all these factors into a coherent psychological picture of depression. In their opinion, the negative self-image, attributions and expectations of a person in a state of depression are an essential link in the vicious circle, the movement of which is triggered by negative experiences - failure in school or work, family conflict or social rejection (Fig. 28-2). In people vulnerable to depression, stress leads to further rounds of sad rumination, withdrawal, and self-blame (Pyszczynski & others, 1991; Wood & others, 1990a, 1990). This kind of rumination creates a depressed mood, which dramatically changes thoughts and actions, which in turn fuel negative feelings, self-blame and depressed mood. Experiments show that the mood of mildly depressed people improves when the task they are given shifts their attention to something external (Nix & others, 1995). Thus, depression is both a cause and a consequence of negative rumination.

[Involvement and self-blame, Negative experiences, Depressed mood, Cognitive and behavioral consequences]

Rice. 28-2. Vicious circle of depression.

Martin Seligman (1991) believes that self-focus and self-blame help explain the epidemic incidence of depression in the modern Western world. In North America, for example, young people experienced three times more depression than their grandparents, despite the fact that older generations had many more reasons to become depressed (Cross National Collaborative Group, 1992). Seligman believes that the devaluation of the role of religion and family, plus the rise of individualism, breeds hopelessness and self-blame when things go wrong. Failure in school, career or marriage leads to despair when we are left alone with it and we have nothing and no one to rely on. If, as an advertisement published in a magazine “for tough men” proclaims, Fortune, you can “do it yourself” “with your assertiveness, your audacity, your energy, your ambition,” then whose fault is it if you Not did? In non-Western cultures, where closer relationships and cooperation are the norm, severe depression is less common and is less associated with feelings of guilt and self-blame over experiences of failure. In Japan, for example, depressed people tend to say instead that they feel shame because they have let their family or coworkers down (Draguns, 1990).

Insight into the thinking patterns associated with depression has led social psychologists to study the thinking patterns of people who suffer from other problems. How do those who suffer from loneliness, shyness or cruelty of others perceive themselves? How well do they remember their successes and failures? To what do they attribute their ups and downs? What is their focus: on themselves or on others?

Chapter 28. Who is unhappy - and why?

Throughout the book I have sought to connect laboratory work to life, relating the principles and findings of social psychology to everyday events. In the fifth and final part, we will try to determine which of the ideas expressed are the most significant, and see how they are related to other realities of human existence. In Chapters 28 and 29 we will look at the application of social psychology in clinical practice, we will try to answer the question of whether a social psychologist can help explain the causes of depression and get rid of it, loneliness and anxiety, and we will also try to understand what social and psychological factors lead people fortunately. Chapter 30 concludes the book; it summarizes the most significant themes in social psychology and suggests how they relate to religious concepts of human nature.

Chapter 28. Who is unhappy - and why?

If you're a typical college student, you might feel a little depressed from time to time: you're dissatisfied with your life, uninspired by thoughts about the future, sad, losing appetite and energy, unable to concentrate, sometimes even wondering if life is worth living. in order to continue it. Perhaps you fear that low grades are threatening your career aspirations. Perhaps separation from your family has plunged you into despair. At such moments, sad thoughts focused on ourselves only worsen our well-being. For about 10% of men and almost 20% of women, periods when life takes a dark turn for them are not just temporary moments of despondency, they turn into severe depression that lasts for weeks for no apparent reason.

One of the most intriguing research questions concerns the cognitive processes that accompany psychological disorders. What are the characteristics of the memories, attributions and expectations of people suffering from depression, as well as people who are lonely, shy or prone to illness?

Social cognition and depression

As we all know from our own life experiences, people who are depressed are often overcome by dark thoughts. They see the world through dark glasses. For people with severe depression—those who feel worthless, become apathetic, lose interest in friends and family, and can't sleep or eat well—negative thinking leads to self-destruction. An overly pessimistic view of the world leads to exaggeration of all the bad things that happen to them and downplaying all the good things.

A depressed young woman says: “I do everything wrong, I’m no good for anything. I cannot succeed at work because I become bogged down in doubt” (Burns, 1980, p. 29).

Distortion or realism?

Are all depressed people too negative? To find out, Lauren Alloy and Lyn Abramson (1979) conducted a comparative analysis of the behavior of students experiencing mild depression and students in a normal state. The researchers asked students to observe whether pressing a button was associated with a subsequent flash of light. To the researchers' surprise, depressed subjects were quite accurate in assessing the extent to which they could control what was happening. Students who did not suffer from depression expressed incorrect, distorted assessments; they clearly exaggerated the limits of their ability to control the situation.

This amazing phenomenon depressive realism is often found when people attempt to evaluate their self-control and skills (Ackermann & De Rubies, 1991; Alloy & others, 1990). Shelley Taylor (1989, p. 214) makes this comparison:

“People normally exaggerate their competence and attractiveness to others; those suffering from depression do not exaggerate. People in a normal state remember their past in a rosy light; Depressed people (except those who are very depressed) are more fair in their assessments of their past successes and failures. People in a normal state describe themselves mostly positively; Depressed people describe both their positive and their negative qualities. People in a normal state take credit for success and tend to deny responsibility for failure. People with depression take responsibility for both their successes and their failures. People in a normal state exaggerate the degree of control they have over what is happening around them; Those suffering from depression are less susceptible to this kind of illusion. People in a normal state unconditionally believe that the future will bring a lot of good and little bad. Depressed people are more realistic about the future. In fact, in any case, where people in a normal state show excessive self-esteem, an illusion of control and a vision of the future that is far from reality, people with depression do not show such biases. It turns out that depression makes people not only sadder, but also wiser.”

The basis of the thinking of people in a state of depression is attributing responsibility to themselves for everything that happens to them. Let's see: If you fail an exam and blame yourself for it, you may come to the conclusion that you are stupid or lazy and become depressed. And if you attribute failure to unfair treatment or some other circumstances beyond your control, then most likely you will simply get angry. In more than 100 studies involving 15,000 subjects (Sweeney & others, 1986), depressed people were more likely than non-depressed people to show negative attitudes. explanatory style(Figure 28-1). They were more likely to attribute failure to reasons sustainable("This will go on forever") global(“This will hurt everything I do”) and internal(“It’s all my own fault.”) The result of such pessimistic, overgeneralized, self-blaming thinking is, according to Abramson and her colleagues (1989), a depressing feeling of hopelessness.

Rice. 28-1. Depressive style of explanation. Depression is associated with a negative, pessimistic way of explaining and interpreting failures.

Negative Thinking: Cause or Consequence of Depression?

People who are inclined to think will probably have a question: what is primary and what is secondary? Does depressed mood cause negative thinking or does negative thinking cause depression?

Depressed mood causes negative thinking

Without a doubt, our mood leaves a certain imprint on our thinking. Feeling ourselves happy, we, as a rule, see and remember only good things. But as soon as our mood becomes gloomy, our thoughts begin to take a different path. Rose-colored glasses are hidden until better times, and black ones are brought to light. Now the gloomy mood brings up memories of unpleasant events (Bowe, 1987; Johnson & Magaro, 1987). Relationships with others seem to have deteriorated, self-image has deteriorated, hopes for the future have faded, and the actions of others are disgusting (Brown & Taylor, 1986; Mayer & Salovey, 1987). As depression worsens, memories and expectations become more and more painful; when the depression subsides, everything becomes brighter again (Barnett & Gotlib, 1988; Kuiper & Higgins, 1985). So, people suffering from depression at present, remember how their parents rejected and punished them, while people who suffered from depression in past, remember their parents as kindly as those who have never experienced depression (Lewinsohn & Rosenbaum, 1987).

Edward Hirt and his colleagues (1992), in a study of fans of the Indiana University basketball team, demonstrated how the bad mood caused by a loss can give rise to rather dark thoughts. They asked fans - both those who were depressed about their team's loss and those who were jubilant about their victory - to predict the results of the team's upcoming games and their own behavior. After a team's defeat, people became more gloomy about not only the team's future, but also their own future successes, such as playing darts, solving anagrams, and even in their personal lives. When things don't go the way we would like, it can seem like they will always go wrong.

A depressed mood also affects behavior. A closed, gloomy, dissatisfied person does not evoke joyful and warm feelings in those around him. Stephen Strack & James Coyne (1983) found that depressed people are close to the truth in thinking that others disapprove of their behavior. Their pessimism and low mood cause social rejection (Carver & others, 1994). Depressive behavior may also cause depression in response. College students who shared a room with someone suffering from depression also began to feel somewhat depressed (Burchill & Stiles, 1988; Joiner, 1994; Sanislow & others, 1989). People with depression are at increased risk of divorce, being fired from their jobs, or being shunned by others (Coyne & others, 1991; Gotlib & Lee, 1989; Sacco & Dunn, 1990). In this state, people may deliberately seek out people who speak unfavorably about them, thereby confirming and further reinforcing their low opinion of themselves (Swarm & others, 1991).

Negative thinking causes depressed mood

Many people feel depressed during times of severe stress, such as job loss, divorce, the breakup of a long-term relationship, or physical trauma—anytime when their sense of who they are and the meaning of their lives is disrupted (Hamilton & others, 1993). ; Kendler & others, 1993). Such sad ruminations may be adaptive: insights experienced during depressed inactivity may later give rise to better strategies for interacting with the world. But people who are prone to depression tend to respond to bleak events by focusing excessively on themselves and blaming themselves for everything (Pyszczynski & others, 1991; Wood & others, 1990a, 1990b). Their self-esteem fluctuates back and forth—up when supported and down when threatened (Butler & others, 1994).

Why do some people get depressed easily? the slightest stressed? Recent evidence suggests that a negative explanatory style contributes to depressive reactions. Colin Sacks & Daphne Bugental (1987) asked several young women to meet a previously unknown person who sometimes acted coldly and unfriendly, thereby creating a difficult environment for communication. In contrast to optimistic women, those who had a pessimistic explanatory style, who tended to attribute unpleasant events to stable, global and internal causes, responded to social failure with depression. Moreover, they later behaved more hostilely with the next person they met. Their negative thinking led to a negative response, which in turn led to negative behavior.

Studies of children, adolescents, and adults outside the laboratory confirm that those with a negative explanatory style are more likely to experience depression when they experience trouble (Alloy & Clements, 1992; Brown & Siegel, 1988; Nolen-Hoeksema & others, 1986 ). “The recipe for severe depression is pre-existing pessimism faced with failure,” notes Martin Seligman (1991, p. 78). Moreover, patients who emerge from a state of depression after a psychotherapy session, but do not give up their negative explanatory style, tend to return to the “original state” when unpleasant events occur again (Seligman, 1992). Those who habitually use an optimistic explanatory style tend to bounce back very quickly (Metalsky & others, 1993; Needles & Abramson, 1990).

Researcher Peter Lewinsohn (1985) and his colleagues boiled down all these factors into a coherent psychological picture of depression. In their opinion, the negative self-image, attributions and expectations of a person in a state of depression are an essential link in the vicious circle, the movement of which is triggered by negative experiences - failure in school or work, family conflict or social rejection (Fig. 28-2). In people vulnerable to depression, stress leads to a new round of sad thoughts, to self-absorption and self-blame (Pyszczynski & others, 1991; Wood & others, 1990a, 1990). This kind of rumination creates a depressed mood, which dramatically changes thoughts and actions, which in turn fuel negative feelings, self-blame and depressed mood. Experiments show that the mood of mildly depressed people improves when the task they are given shifts their attention to something external (Nix & others, 1995). Thus, depression is both a cause and a consequence of negative rumination.

[Involvement and self-blame, Negative experiences, Depressed mood, Cognitive and behavioral consequences]

Rice. 28-2. Vicious circle of depression.

Martin Seligman (1991) believes that self-focus and self-blame help explain the epidemic incidence of depression in the modern Western world. In North America, for example, young people experienced three times more depression than their grandparents, despite the fact that older generations had many more reasons to become depressed (Cross National Collaborative Group, 1992). Seligman believes that the devaluation of the role of religion and family, plus the rise of individualism, breeds hopelessness and self-blame when things go wrong. Failure in school, career or marriage leads to despair when we are left alone with it and we have nothing and no one to rely on. If, as an advertisement published in a magazine “for tough men” proclaims, Fortune, you can “do it yourself” “with your assertiveness, your audacity, your energy, your ambition,” then whose fault is it if you Not did? In non-Western cultures, where closer relationships and cooperation are the norm, severe depression is less common and is less associated with feelings of guilt and self-blame over experiences of failure. In Japan, for example, depressed people tend to say instead that they feel shame because they have let their family or coworkers down (Draguns, 1990).

Insight into the thinking patterns associated with depression has led social psychologists to study the thinking patterns of people who suffer from other problems. How do those who suffer from loneliness, shyness or cruelty of others perceive themselves? How well do they remember their successes and failures? To what do they attribute their ups and downs? What is their focus: on themselves or on others?

Social cognition and loneliness

If we consider that among psychological disorders, depression is a “common cold,” then loneliness is a “headache.” Loneliness, permanent or temporary, is the painful realization that our social relationships are not as extensive and significant as we would like. Jenny de Jong-Gierveld (1987) conducted a study among Dutch adults and found that unmarried and unattached people were more likely to feel lonely. This led her to believe that the modern emphasis on individualism and the devaluation of marriage and family life could be “provoking loneliness” (as well as depression). Work-related mobility is also responsible for weakening family and social ties and increasing feelings of loneliness (Dill & Anderson, 1998).

Like people suffering from depression, chronically lonely people appear to be engaged in the same vicious cycle of destructive cognitions and social behavior. Their explanatory style resembles the negative explanatory style of depressed people: they blame themselves for poor relationships with others and believe that many things are beyond their control (Anderson & others, 1994; Snodgrass, 1987). Moreover, they also perceive others in a negative way. When interacting with a stranger of the same sex or with a roommate, students who feel lonely are likely to perceive the stranger negatively (Jones & others, 1981; Wittenberg & Reis, 1986). As shown in Fig. 28-3, loneliness, depression and shyness sometimes feed each other.

[Shyness, Loneliness, Depression]

Rice. 28-3. The interaction of chronic shyness, loneliness and depression. Solid arrows indicate the primary direction of causation (Jody Dill & Craig Anderson, 1998).

Such a negative outlook on things can both reflect the experiences of a lonely person and leave a certain imprint on them. Confidence in social worthlessness and pessimism prevent lonely people from taking action so as not to feel so lonely. Lonely people often have difficulty introducing themselves, making telephone calls, or participating in group activities (Rook, 1984; Spitzberg & Hurt, 1987). They tend to be overly shy and have low self-esteem (Cheek & Melchior, 1990; Vaux, 1988). When talking to a stranger, they talk more about themselves and show less interest in the interlocutor than people who do not suffer from loneliness (Jones & others, 1982). Such conversations often leave new acquaintances with unfavorable opinions of lonely people (Jones & others, 1983).

Social cognition and anxiety

If you need to go through an interview for a job that you really want to get; giving someone a first date; cross the threshold of a room full of strangers; speak in front of a serious audience, then almost all of us will be nervous. Some people, especially those who are shy or easily embarrassed, feel anxious in almost any situation where they may begin to evaluate themselves and their behavior. For such people, anxiety is more of a permanent character trait than a temporary condition.

What makes us feel anxious in social situations? Why are some people in the grip of their own timidity? Barry Schlenker & Mark Leary (1982b, 1985; Leary & Kowalski, 1985) answer these questions with theories of self-presentation. Self-presentation theory suggests that we strive to present ourselves in a way that makes a good impression. The subtext of social anxiety is simple: we feel anxious when we want to impress others but doubt our ability to do so. This simple principle helps explain the results obtained in a variety of studies; each of them may contain truth about your own experience. We are most concerned:

When we communicate with influential people with high status - people whose opinions are of particular importance to us;

When someone evaluates us - for example, when we meet our fiancee's parents for the first time;

When we feel embarrassed (as shy people often do) and our attention is focused on ourselves and what we are facing;

When the interaction is focused on something important to our self-image - for example, when a college professor is presenting ideas at a meeting where his colleagues are present;

When we find ourselves in new or unstructured situations - such as our first school dance or our first formal dinner - and we don't know how to behave.

By nature, in all such situations, we tend to be prudently cautious: talk less; avoid topics that may reveal our ignorance; control yourself; Don’t be overconfident, agree and smile as often as possible.

Shyness is a form of social anxiety. Its hallmark is a constant worry about what others will think (Anderson & Harvey, 1988; Asendorpf, 1987; Carver & Scheier, 1986). Unlike confident people, shy people (many of whom are teenagers) see random events as somehow related to themselves (Fenigstein, 1984; Fenigstein & Vanable, 1992). They over-personalize situations, a tendency that demonstrates anxiety and, in extreme cases, paranoia. Such people often feel that the interviewer is unsympathetic and completely uninterested in them (Pozo & others, 1991). They also exaggerate the degree of attention to their person from others and the desire to evaluate them. If shy people have bad hair or a mark or scar on their face, they assume that everyone around them notices and judges it.

To reduce social anxiety, some people turn to alcohol. Alcohol does reduce anxiety because it reduces self-awareness (Hull & Young, 1983). Thus, people who are constantly self-aware are especially likely to drink alcohol after failure. If they become alcoholics, they are more likely than people with low self-awareness to relapse after treatment.

Symptoms as diverse as anxiety and alcohol dependence may serve the same balancing function. Believing yourself to be anxious, shy, depressed, or intoxicated can provide excuses for failure (Snyder & Smith, 1986). Behind the barricade of symptoms, the human ego is safe. “Why don’t I date girls? Because I’m a shy person and it’s not easy for people to know what I’m really like.” A symptom is an unconscious strategic ploy to explain negative results.

What if we eliminated the need for such a ploy by providing people with a convenient alternative explanation for their anxiety - and therefore possible failure? Would a shy person stop being shy? Yes! This is exactly the answer that Susan Brodt and Philip Zimbardo (1981) came up with when they asked both shy and non-shy women to talk to an attractive man. The women were waiting for a conversation in a small room where it was very noisy. Some (but not all) were told that the noise usually caused heart palpitations and that this should be considered a normal symptom of anxiety. When these women later talked to the man, they were able to attribute their increased heart rate and any difficulty they experienced during the conversation to the noise, rather than to their shyness or inability to communicate.

Compared to other women, those who were given such a ready explanation for the signs of excitement that appeared in them showed less shyness - they freely carried on a conversation and asked the man various questions. In fact, this man had no reason to call them shy.

Socio-psychological approaches to treatment

So, we looked at models of social thinking that are associated with various life problems - from major depression to everyday shyness. Can a person get rid of an uncomfortable thinking pattern? There is no isolated socio-psychological therapy. Therapy involves a variety of social interactions, and social psychologists are now thinking about how to integrate the principles of social psychology with existing treatments (Leary & Maddux, 1987; Strong & others, 1992).

Towards internal changes through external behavior

In Chapter 9 we looked at a wide range of evidence for a fairly simple but important principle: our actions influence our attitudes. The roles we play, the words we speak, the decisions we make, the actions we take influence who we are as a result.

In accordance with the principle of “attitudes follow behavior,” some psychotherapeutic techniques recommend actions as “treatments.” Behavioral therapists try to shape behavior because they believe that internal dispositions change as soon as behavior changes. Self-confidence training involves using the foot-in-the-door technique. The individual first plays the role of a self-confident person (those around him, due to their capabilities, support him in this endeavor), and then gradually becomes actually more self-confident. Rational-emotive therapy assumes that we generate our own emotions; clients are given “homework” to speak and act in new ways, and this generates new emotions. Challenge yourself, they say, to stop telling yourself that you are unattractive. In self-help groups, participants are subtly encouraged to behave in new ways: to be angry, to cry, to show self-respect, to express positive feelings.

Research confirms that what we say about ourselves can affect how we feel. In one experiment, students were asked to write an essay praising themselves (Mirels & McPeek, 1977). Later, when rated by another experimenter, these students showed higher self-esteem than those who wrote essays on a different topic. Edward Jones and his associates (Edward Jones, 1981; Rhodewalt & Agustsdottir, 1986), in turn, asked students to introduce themselves to the interviewer by either exalting or demeaning themselves. Once again, the public performance—whether self-enhancing or self-deprecating—was later reflected in their responses on the self-esteem test. We speak means we believe, even when we speak about ourselves. This was especially true when students were subtly encouraged to take responsibility for how they presented themselves to others. Therapeutic treatment is most effective when its instructions are followed accurately and without coercion.

Break the vicious circle

If depression, loneliness, and social anxiety combine to create a vicious cycle of negative feelings, thoughts, and destructive behaviors, the cycle must be broken at some point by changing the environment, teaching the person more constructive behavior, or changing the way they think. And it really is possible. Several psychotherapies help people break the vicious cycle of depression.

Social skills training

Depression, loneliness and shyness are not just our personal problems. Even short-term interaction with a person experiencing depression can be irritating and depressing. Lonely and shy people are right in their fears: it is indeed difficult to communicate with them. In such cases, social skills training is very useful. After observing new patterns of behavior, if a person begins to practice them, this can help him develop the confidence that he will behave more effectively in other situations.

A person who begins to enjoy the benefits of their more “skillful” behavior develops a more positive self-perception. Frances Haemmerlie & Robert Montgomery (1982, 1984, 1986) demonstrated this in experiments involving extremely shy, nervous college students. Someone who is inexperienced and fearful in relationships with the opposite sex may be saying to themselves, “I rarely date, so I'm not good at socializing; therefore, I shouldn’t try to invite anyone.” To change this pattern of negative conclusions, Hemmerly and Montgomery involved students in pleasurable relationships with the opposite sex.

In another experiment, men working at a college filled out questionnaires to measure their levels of social anxiety and then returned to the laboratory on two different days. Each time they had a very nice conversation with six young women, for 12 minutes with each. Men believed that women were also test subjects. In reality, the women were invited to engage in natural and friendly conversation with the men.

The result of such communication, which lasted a total of two and a half hours, was impressive. This is how one of the subjects subsequently wrote about it: “I have never met so many girls with whom I could talk so well. After talking with them, I felt so confident in myself that I stopped being nervous, as I always had before.” This comment was confirmed by later observed changes in the behavior of the men. Unlike men in the control group, those who participated in the interviews had significantly lower levels of anxiety associated with women when tested again (one week later and six months later). Finding themselves alone with an attractive stranger, they could start a conversation more freely. And outside the walls of the laboratory, they also behaved more relaxedly, from time to time making dates with the women they liked.

Hemmerly and Montgomery note that all this happened without any consultation, and it is quite possible that everything turned out so well precisely because that no recommendations were issued at all. By achieving success on their own, the experiment participants began to perceive themselves as socially competent. When the researchers interviewed the former subjects seven months later, the men appeared to have enjoyed their social successes to such an extent that they began to attribute the success solely to themselves. “Nothing promotes success like success,” Hemmerly (1987) concluded, “unless there are external factors that the patient can use as an explanation for that success!”

Psychotherapy by changing explanatory style

Breaking the cycle of depression, loneliness and shyness can be achieved by practicing social skills, having positive experiences that change self-perception, and changing negative thinking patterns. There are people who seem to have all the necessary social skills, but experiences with overly critical friends and family convince them otherwise. It may be enough for such people to help change the negative opinion about themselves and their future to the opposite. Among the methods of cognitive psychotherapy is psychotherapy by changing the style of explanation, proposed by social psychologists (Abramson, 1988; Foersterling, 1986; Greenberg & others, 1992).

One such program trained college students suffering from depression to change their typical attributions. Mary Anne Layden (1982) first explained to them the benefits of attribution in a non-depressed person (taking credit for all his successes and denying responsibility when things go wrong). By giving students a variety of tasks, she helped them see how they typically interpret success and failure. Then it was time for psychotherapy: Leiden gave each participant in the experiment the task of keeping a diary, in which they had to record the successes and failures they had experienced every day, noting at the same time what their own share of the credit for success was and what the external reasons for the failures were. After a month of such training, the participants were retested and their results were compared with a control group that did not undergo psychotherapy. It turned out that the self-esteem of those who kept a diary increased, and their attribution style became more positive. The more their explanatory style improved, the more their depression subsided. By changing their attributions, they changed their emotions.

While emphasizing that changed behavior and thinking patterns can be improved further and further, it should be recalled that there is a limit to everything. Social skills training and positive thinking cannot turn us into consistent winners who are loved and admired by everyone. In addition, temporary depression, loneliness and shyness are completely appropriate reactions to truly sad events. Only when these feelings are present constantly and for no apparent reason should you pay attention to them and try to change destructive thinking and behavior.

Concepts to remember

Depressive realism(Depressive realism) - the tendency of people who are mildly depressed to make predominantly accurate judgments, attributions and forecasts that are not in their favor.

Change your thinking - your life will change

Where does negative thinking come from?

Scottish philosopher David Hume was the first to propose the tabula rasa or “blank slate” theory.This theory says that. That every person comes into this world without any thoughts or ideas, and everything that a person thinks or feels was acquired by him in infancy and subsequent years of life. That is, the consciousness of a child is a blank slate on which every person who communicates with him, every event leaves his mark, his mark.An adult is the sum, the sum total of what he or she has learned, the feelings and experiences that have been gained while growing up.What a person does and becomes is the result of the conditions in which he grew up.

Another concept states -Dr. Teutsch, psychogenetics.According to the main idea, genetic code even before a person is born, determines most of his life prospects and basic behavior patterns. Information about the experiences of ancestors is stored along with information about appearance in the DNA molecule. Each person has his own main internal direction - a unique combination of genetic, unconscious and conscious factors, according to which he moves through life, gains experience and “plays” his roles - regardless of his own conscious reactions and interpretations.The “radiation” of this main internal direction affects human behavior, success, and health.Unconscious expectations, hidden hostility, guilt, fear or death wishes "attract" potential partners. It is with them that man circles in the labyrinths of misunderstanding, illness and hatred. And the matter cannot be corrected by solving only specific problems, as most classical and modern areas of psychotherapy do. In the biography of a person or his descendants, conflicts will be played out again and again - until his main life direction is changed. Psychogenetics claims: until we realize the negative programs of our genetic code, we will remain victims of circumstances, chance encounters, and someone’s ill will. Awareness of the negative aspects of your genetic program helps you become masters of your life and create your present and future well-being with your own hands, mind and will.

Thinking is formed before the age of 5, it is important in what atmosphere the child grows up, and the behavior patterns of his parents. If a child is loved, he will feel worthy of love in the future; if he is treated harshly, he will have problems with self-esteem. The child accepts the role models of parents' behavior unconsciously, without thinking, he will consider that he is unworthy of love if his parents do not give him love, because his parents are the highest authority for him.

Thinking is formed both positive and negative; the formation of thinking is influenced by those attitudes, role models of behavior accepted in the family. For example, if a child grows up in rejection, his idea of ​​himself, about the environment and about life will be negative, if the child is accepted and loved, his idea of ​​himself, the environment and life, on the contrary, will be positive.

1. What could be the acquired negative attitudes (or complexes)?

Since the child was immersed in a certain environment in childhood, he received a certain way of thinking; family attitudes and role models of behavior in the family had a huge influence on the formation of the child’s thinking.

For example, if a child is constantly criticized in the family, he stops dreaming, has a negative attitude towards himself, and in adulthood he will be deprived of strength, enthusiasm, and will be critical of himself.

It is not the child’s fault that he was immersed in a certain environment and brought out complexes from it.

2. Is it possible to change or correct thinking to be positive?